NORTH JERSEY · NEW YORK CITY · LONG ISLAND · HUDSON VALLEY
Why You're Probably Not Awkward In Photos
After photographing weddings and engagement sessions for the last 17 years, I've learned something:
Almost every couple thinks they're awkward in photos.
And honestly?
Most of them are wrong.
Most people aren't awkward.
They're just uncomfortable.
There's a difference.
And thankfully, one of those is a lot easier to fix.
The Problem Usually Isn't You
Most people aren't used to being professionally photographed. So the second a camera comes out, they suddenly become hyper-aware of:
- what their hands are doing
- whether they're smiling weird
- how they're standing
- whether people are watching them
- if they look natural
- whether they're "doing it right"
Ironically, that's exactly what creates stiff-looking photos. It's not because you're awkward; it's because you're thinking too much.
The Old Way
A lot of photographers try solving this with more posing.
More prompts.
More Pinterest.
More "okay now laugh at each other!"
And honestly...sometimes it shows.
Because nothing is more awkward than telling silly people to be serious, or telling serious people to be silly.
The goal isn't to turn you into someone else.
The goal is to celebrate (and photograph) you as you already are.
What Actually Makes Photos Feel Natural?
Believe it or not, it's not rocket science (not to us anyway).
It all comes down to:
Comfort.
Trust.
Energy.
It's feeling like you can just exist together without wondering what you're supposed to be doing every second. That's what creates natural body language.
Not memorizing poses.
Not practicing fake laughs in the mirror.
Not recreating something you saw on TikTok three months ago.
The less you think about the camera, the better the photos usually become.
This Starts Long Before The Wedding Day
One of the biggest misconceptions about wedding photography is that natural photos magically happen once the camera comes out.
They don't.
Confidence gets built beforehand.
Through preparation.
Communication.
Guidance.
Trust.
A huge part of our job starts before we ever take a single photo together.
Things like:
- helping with locations
- helping with outfits
- helping with timing
- helping you understand what actually matters
- helping you realize what doesn't
Because when people know what to expect, they stop overthinking everything.
The Engagement Session Isn't Really About The Photos
Okay technically...maybe it is (just a little bit).
Yes - you'll absolutely end up with great photos.
But honestly?
The engagement session is doing something much more important behind the scenes. This is our practice round - not because you need to learn how to pose, but because it gives us a chance to learn you.
How you naturally interact, how affectionate you are, whether you need lots of direction or almost none at all.
We wanna know how you laugh, how you move, and even more importantly - wow self-conscious you actually are versus how self-conscious you think you are.
Every couple is different.
And the engagement session lets us figure all of that out before the wedding day ever arrives.
Also... Timing Matters
Many couples technically have been photographed before (oftentimes right after the proposal).
And while those moments are amazing emotionally... they're also a completely different experience.
You're running on adrenaline.
Maybe you weren't expecting photos that day.
Maybe you would've liked:
- a manicure
- a little extra time getting ready
- the outfit you've been saving
- a heads up to do your makeup :)
The engagement session gives you space to actually settle into the experience instead of getting thrown into it unexpectedly. And you know what? That comfort absolutely shows up in the photos.
We Also Cheat (a little)
Not in a bad way, of course.
But there are things you learn after photographing more than 1,600+ weddings.
Things like:
- shooting early mornings to avoid crowds
- knowing where the quiet pockets in busy places like DUMBO or Central Park are
- keeping sessions moving quickly
- our highly curated selection of dad-jokes
A huge part of our jobs is getting people out of their heads. The less aware our clients are of the cameras, the more natural everything starts to look & feel.
The Best Photos Usually Happen In Between
In between poses.
In between directions.
In between moments where you think nothing is happening.
That's usually where the real stuff lives.
The laugh after the laugh.
The little glance at each other.
The moment you completely forget I'm standing there with a camera.
Those are usually the photos people end up loving the most years later.
Not because they looked perfect, but because they felt real.
You Don't Need To Be "Photogenic"
You don't need modeling experience.
You don't need to know your angles.
You don't need to practice poses beforehand.
You don't need to become a different version of yourself.
You just need a photographer who understands how to make people feel comfortable enough to stop performing.
That's it.
One Last Thing
At the end of the day, most couples aren't actually looking for "perfect" photos. They're looking for photos that feel like them.
Natural.
Easy.
Unforced.
Honest.
And that only happens when you trust the person behind the camera enough to stop worrying about the camera altogether.
That's the real secret.
PS
Over the next few weeks, we're going to be sending over a handful of short stories and observations from nearly two decades of photographing weddings and engagement sessions.
Some funny.
Some practical.
Some mildly chaotic.
But all designed to help you feel a whole lot better about being in front of a camera. These are all just honest thoughts from a couple of photographers who've spent a very long time around self-described awkward humans with cameras pointed at them :).
If You're Still Reading This...
Then there's a decent chance you're our kind of people :).
We're Ben & Karis - two humans who have spent the better part of two decades helping camera-shy couples feel comfortable enough to stop thinking about the camera altogether.
If that sounds like the kind of experience you're looking for, we'd love to hear more about your wedding plans.
- Ben & Karis